How To Be a Great Man
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Men get more than we think in a society so focused on stigma and stereotypes. While there is a push for equality amongst all genders, we can’t ignore the fact that we still separate traits based on masculinity and femininity.
With that, men are typically assumed to have masculine traits.
Then we get to the subgroup of toxic masculinity. Unfortunately, boys are still being raised with the notion that they are not allowed to express emotions or seem “weak” in any way. We also tend to be more lenient with boys and aggression because “boys will be boys.”
As our society evolves and these boys grow into adults, there comes a time when they either continue preaching the values of toxic masculinity or start to realize that it’s an unhealthy way of viewing the world.
If you’re in the second group, you’ve come to the right place. You feel ready to start learning how to unlearn these unhealthy views and start becoming a great man.
How Do You Get Better at it Every Day?
Being told to improve every day can sound vague and daunting. Becoming a great man also sounds abstract, but if you want to get better at it every day, then the first thing to do is to create a new mindset.
Today’s the day you have to promise yourself that you will do your best to improve your mindset. Once you stand by that promise and put in the work, you will see improvements every day.
What Does Working on Yourself Look Like?
Working on yourself is recognizing when you’ve made a better decision than before and forgiving yourself when you accidentally revert. It’s a constant power struggle between what you want to believe and what you’ve been taught to think.
When you catch yourself reverting to what you used to believe, stop yourself and apologize to whoever you’re talking to, even if you’re only talking to yourself in the mirror. It’s important to be kind to yourself and others.
Tips & Tricks that Will Make You a Better Man
Learn to love and appreciate yourself
This is harder than it sounds, and it is not enough. Dig deep and realize the best and worst parts of yourself. Love yourself, and know you are working to change the features you don’t like.
Be accountable for yourself and other men.
If you were raised on the ideals of toxic masculinity, then you’ve got to be aware of others that have too. So if you’re friends with someone who still holds these beliefs, do your best to help them see otherwise.
Get Emotional
Don’t be worried about crying in front of others. Feeling your feelings is okay if you’re having a rough time. However, if you allow yourself to go into your emotions more frequently, you’re less likely to pop into an emotional wreck later on.
Find your support group
If you find that your current group has no desire to change their unhealthy way of viewing the world, then maybe it’s time to get a new group. Finding new friends that can support you in your journey of self-improvement can do wonders for your mental health.
Learn to talk
It’s important to talk about how you’re feeling. For example, if you have had a bad day and are not in the mood to go out with friends, you don’t have to force yourself to go, and you can even tell them that you need a mental health day.
If you don’t feel comfortable talking in-depth with your friends, a therapist is something that you could look into as well. You’d be surprised how helpful they can be.
Things You Need to Avoid Doing
Being Judgemental
One of the biggest things toxic masculinity teaches is that there is only one way to be a man. With that comes a lot of homophobia and misogynistic ideals. Get all of that out of your head. Let other people live however they want.
If it makes them happy and they aren’t hurting anyone, then stop judging how they live.
Suppressing Emotions
Emotions are a good and healthy thing. However, don’t suppress your emotions because you want to seem tough, which will only cause you to lash out later.
Engaging in risky behaviors
Risky Behaviors are things that you might partake in because it’s considered manly, but in reality, they are harmful. Don’t smoke heavily or drink an excessive amount of alcohol. Risky behaviors can also include putting yourself in danger, overeating, or drug abuse.
Getting Violent
Lots of men raised with toxic masculinity values end up using violence as a tactic for everything because it’s seen as having power. Just don’t do it. Instead, calm down and then express how you feel without having to punch someone or the wall.
Being Controlling
Another thing that ends up happening is men become highly controlling. Since they have no say in how to express themselves, they try to control the lives of others. This is not a good thing. Instead, take the reins of your own life and leave others’ lives to themselves.
How Long Does it Take to Become a Great Man?
I’ll be honest. It’s going to take a while, and changing a core part of how you were raised takes a long time to get it out of your system entirely. But, the good news is that once you’ve decided to change and put in the work, you’re already a better man than you were before.
Final Thoughts on How to Be a Great Man
Many men are still raised with the values of toxic masculinity but want to change the beliefs their parents raised them with. The first step is to take this seriously and work to change.
Working on yourself can seem daunting, but if you start loving yourself, taking others accountable, talking about your emotions, and finding a group that supports you, you can unlearn all the unhealthy ways of thinking.
Be sure to avoid suppressing your emotions and getting violent, being controlling, and being judgemental of others. Instead, be kind to yourself and other people. Becoming a great man is a long journey, but the end goal will be worth the wait.
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