How To Stop Doing Everything For Everyone Else?

Last Updated on June 13th, 2023

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There are going to be personality types that will want to please everyone. They are sometimes referred to as ‘people pleasers,’ and they cannot help but try and make everyone happy.

The only issue is that not everyone wants to be happy or wants to be helped.

The first step in removing oneself from the role of doing everything is sticking to one task and doing everything else for yourself.

This one task, done routinely and without fuss, plus not leaving any messes, will, in effect, remove you from blame for doing anything else and from leaving messes for others to clean.


Sunlight falling on a man's face - How To Stop Doing Everything For Everyone Else?

Why Do You Do It?

There are multiple reasons why people will attempt to please other people all the time, by any means necessary. But, first, it is to make things better, even by just doing the little things to make someone smile or feel slightly better that day.

The reality is that there comes a certain level of satisfaction when you have a positive effect on someone, a dopamine release in the brain triggered by making someone laugh or smile.

It is just human nature to want to make those around us be and feel better, as a group trying not to get eaten by lions.


What Does it Mean?

When thinking about the meaning of doing everything for everyone; makes you think about behavior patterns and the real reason for wanting to please people.

In some situations, pleasing everyone around you is a matter of life or death, in which a person must do whatever it takes to survive.

Other times, like in first-world cities, a person can take a stand for their civil rights and have a way to defend themselves, even as an individual.

Then you have the compulsive person that wants to please out of a mental need for it, which sometimes can be a sign of a mental illness or health issue.


Why is This Not Good For You?

This could be unhealthy for some people for many reasons. The first to discuss would be an addiction, meaning that the addiction to a drug, feeling, person, or style of living will make a person do whatever it takes to maintain the behavior.

Including pleasing people and doing everything for them, even more than should be done in some cases.

This could also be a sign of compulsive behavior caused by a mental health disorder, which is still being studied and understood by the scientific community. In this case, the behavior is unhealthy, even compulsive, to a degree of self-degradation or lack of self-care or hygiene.


How Can Someone Learn to Stop Doing This?

There are going to be a few ways to train the self to react differently, to live a different and healthier lifestyle. But, the best way is to move into a new space, find a place to form a new self and try those new things to find something else to socialize over.

Another way is to become less social, become more introverted, and spend time at home. Give yourself some attention and time; give your passions a chance for your love and pursuit of things at home, such as art projects and vehicle restoration.


How to Learn your Value

There is a lesson a professor once taught to the class, and I listened; He held a twenty-dollar bill and asked everyone to raise their hand that wanted the money.

Everyone raised their hand, of course, but then he stomped on the bill and asked again, to which everyone raised their hand a second time.

He then picked up the twenty, crumpled it into a ball, and the class raised their hands a third time. Finally, he paused, letting the point sink in, and then said something along the lines of a metaphor.

No matter how many times you’ve been battered, bruised, punched, knocked down, and got up, you never lose your worth as a person.


Final Thoughts on How to Stop Doing Everything for Everyone 

There will be many times that life will challenge a person emotionally and in other fashions.

This means that when someone needs to find a reason for living, or finishing out of school, or go to work every day, all they need to do is remember what makes them happy, even if riding a Harley is the only thing.

Focusing on that person or thing you’re passionate about and letting everything else go unimportant to that lifestyle.

Those people that do not see it your way are just other people living a life that makes sense to them, and it will take time for everyone to be ready to see each other’s perspectives.

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