My Brother Doesn’t Care About Me Anymore

Last Updated on June 13th, 2023

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Brothers, whether older or younger, can be difficult to understand sometimes. For example, you may be close one day and then suddenly never talk again without knowing why.

Sometimes this is due to issues or frustration, but it also just might be that your brother is in their head.

Making an effort to open up communication for both of you is important. They can feel safe and comfortable telling you if something is wrong, or they may just realize what they are doing.

While people may be quick to assume someone is doing something maliciously or on purpose, the reality is that people do a lot of behaviors unconsciously and may not even realize what they are doing or how it affects them.

Two men sitting on a car roof - My Brother Doesn't Care About Me Anymore

What Do You Do When Your Brother Ignores you?

Sometimes, there is, unfortunately, no way to stop your brother from ignoring you. Perhaps, in their eyes, they have given you plenty of chances, but you have not made an effort to redeem yourself.

Or maybe they don’t realize what they are doing, caught up in their thoughts and problems.

The best solution is to try to talk to them. It is important that you use mostly ‘I’ statements, as you don’t want to sound like you are accusing or blaming them. That will just cause them to be defensive and shut down more.

See if they will be willing to talk to try and correct the issue. If not, there isn’t much else you can do but try and give them time. Work hard to make sure your actions reflect that you want a relationship with them and are open to change.


How do you Deal with a Negative Brother?

If you are dealing with a negative brother, the best option is to try and set up boundaries. If you are living at home, that can be hard. But it is still worth trying.

Try to bring in an adult or older sibling that isn’t going to pick favorites, and try to have them sit in as a mediator while you and your brother talk.

Be patient and make sure not to accuse them of anything. Sometimes, they may be negative due to problems in their life like depression or bullying.

It is important to stress that while you are willing to support them during this tough time, that doesn’t include getting your feelings hurt in the process.

If they don’t make any effort to be less negative, you may have to establish boundaries, such as when you can spend time together and what sort of talk you won’t tolerate around you. This is the best way to protect yourself, and it is important to do, even if they are hurting.

Helping a negative brother should never come at the cost of your mental health.


Should You Confront Him About it?

Confronting is a harsh word. While talking is important, confronting usually brings up defenses and more hurt feelings than benefits.

Try not to ever accuse them of doing something, but just state how their actions made you feel. This helps them see your point of view while not making them feel attacked.

You can also offer suggestions or ask for advice on how you should continue. For example, state that you want to be close to them, but this is affecting your mental health, and that is not fair to you.

If they want to change, they will offer suggestions, and perhaps try to change their ways. However, remember that even if the initial conversation doesn’t go well, they may start to realize their mistakes and change over time, so don’t take it too personally.

Sometimes, though, a negative brother just isn’t willing to make a change. In that case, you may just have to cut your losses and realize that he may no longer be able to be a part of your life.


How Can You Fix it?

For a change to occur, both parties must make an effort. If you are the only one making any changes, it may not be possible to fix them.

However, before throwing in the towel, make sure that he isn’t making any changes. Some people are more subtle about showing affection and care than others. Try to think about it as unbiasedly as possible and see if any changes have been made.

Be patient as well. Change isn’t easy for some, and they may be slow about it but still want to try.


Should You Wait for Him to Reach Out?

It is always best to make the first move. If you can do it calmly, you can make your opinion known so that they know what is going on. Though it may seem obvious, people aren’t always aware of their actions and how they harm others.

This means that they may not even realize that they are hurting you. Waiting for them to make a move is silly in this situation, and they can’t change if they don’t know what they are doing wrong.

After that, it is important to wait for them to reach out. Even if it takes some time, there isn’t much else you can do but state your opinions and see how they react. You can make the situation worse by continuously harping on them or bringing them up.


Final Thoughts on My Brother Doesn’t Care About Me Anymore

It isn’t always easy to handle siblings. Despite growing up in similar households and situations, people can turn out vastly different. However, sometimes what may seem like purposeful behavior is just a lack of realization or understanding.

Before assuming that your brother is ignoring you or being negative on purpose, instead try and have a conversation with them. Tell them your feelings without being aggressive or accusatory. You may be surprised by what a difference this makes.

Unfortunately, you may also not be surprised by the difference. Sometimes, there is no other choice but to set boundaries and follow them until your negative brother is willing to make a change.


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