My Brother Doesn’t Want A Relationship With Me
We may earn commissions for purchases made through links on our site. Learn more on our about us page.
Siblings are usually a joy to have. There is a unique connection between brothers and sisters that few other relationships have, but they can also be a source of pain if siblings become estranged or cut ties completely.
If your brother doesn’t want a relationship with you, it is possible to maintain some sort of contact, but you may never be able to reach the closeness you may have had as kids.
Continue reading to learn more about what to do when your brother doesn’t want a sibling relationship with you, how to deal with it, and how you can fix the issue.
How do you Deal with Rejection from a Sibling?
Being rejected wholly by a sibling can sting, especially if they don’t ever tell you why they are cutting you out. The truth is that the pain you feel from being rejected may never go away, but there are ways to reduce the anguish and move on.
- Realize that your grief is a complicated mesh of emotions and that you can feel things aside from sadness while you grieve
- Acknowledge that you are experiencing grief and have lost something dear to you
- Don’t rush your grieving process or compare it to that of others or even other experiences you have had in the past.
Should You Start Talking About it?
Many people find talking about losing a sibling relationship can help in the healing process. If possible, and when you are ready, you should try to find someone in your life who you can talk to without judgment and without trying to fix the situation for you.
This can be difficult because family members may be going through the same ordeal, and friends may simply tell you to move on. Consider consulting a therapist or specialized bereavement counselors.
Talking about your loss may not be the single solution you need to help you find peace with your situation, but it can be part of a larger response that helps you heal.
Is it Possible to Fix it?
Theoretically, fixing your strained or broken relationship with your brother is possible. The crux of the problem is typically finding out why your brother no longer wants you in his life. Unfortunately, getting an answer directly from him may be difficult, if not impossible.
If you can’t get an answer from him, a family member or mutual friend may know the reason. You should try to involve them as little as possible, so they don’t feel like they are picking sides, just get the reason from them if possible.
Once you know the reason, if there is one, you can work on fixing that fault or misunderstanding.
Give it some time, so you appear more sincere that you have tried your best and contact your brother again – your actions may have reached his ears through family and friends by now.
What if Talking About it Doesn’t Help?
Talking about this conflict with your brother may not help the situation. Unfortunately, talking about it with others, like a therapist, may not entirely help either. You may need to seek other sources of healing, like meditation and time spent surrounded by nature, to begin healing.
The most important thing to remember is to accept your feelings and allow yourself time to heal. You may not want to be social and act as if nothing has happened, and that’s fine, but you shouldn’t isolate yourself completely, either.
Many people find solace in due time by focusing on themselves and their own families or absorbing themselves in new hobbies as well.
How Common is Sibling Estrangement?
Luckily, total sibling estrangement is not a very common phenomenon. According to professor of human development and gerontology at Cornell University, Karl Pillemer, less than 5 percent of Americans have experience with these situations.
You don’t have to give up hope of having a relationship with your brother because you may just need some time apart or with minimal contact.
If the damage seems permanent, you could think positively and reach out to others who have or are going through the same thing as you for extra support.
Final Thoughts on Your Brother Doesn’t Want A Relationship With You
Although uncommon, sibling estrangement is something that people can encounter in their lives. There are a variety of reasons why siblings might cut ties with each other, but there are few options for those who want to salvage their relationships.
It may be wise to give your brother space and time when he decides he doesn’t want a relationship with you – the situation may fix itself eventually.
Grieving during this process is normal and common. Take as much time as you need to talk about your feelings. Focus on what things are within your power instead of lamenting over things that are not.