My Sister Always Criticizes Me
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We see siblings in the media all the time. But unfortunately, they are usually very close or critical of each other, and it can be confusing to understand how siblings should act.
While siblings don’t always have to be super close, having a very critical and toxic sister isn’t good either. This can lead to problems like depression and anxiety on your end.
It is always important to try and establish boundaries and have open and healthy communication with your sibling, but sometimes it just doesn’t work.
What are the Signs of a Toxic Sibling?
There are some good signs that you may have a toxic sibling. However, it is important to note that while any sibling may have one or two of these traits, toxic siblings will have many of them, despite having talks about how you feel and asking them to stop.
- They always have to be right
- They are manipulative
- They don’t respect your boundaries
- They seem to always be or be playing the victim
- They don’t seem to feel remorseful when they apologize
- Every interaction with them leaves you upset, exhausted, or broken
- Everything is redirected back to them
- They won’t do anything without getting something from it
- Problems and issues are never their faults
- You can’t trust them to ever keep a secret, even a small one
- They will ignore you unless they want something
- Teasing always mean
- They are hypocritical
How do you Deal with a Critical Sister?
It is worth picking your battles. However, having a fight or complaining every time your sister is critical or mean just means your parents will stop listening. So instead, wait for serious issues.
Additionally, try to complain constructively. Don’t outright accuse your sister, or that will make them and your parents defensive. Instead, say how it made you feel and why you wish they wouldn’t do it anymore.
Some people find that not reacting to your siblings is even better. Critical and toxic siblings are often looking for a rise out of you.
This means that they will often keep poking until you get upset or mad. Though it may be hard, try to be neutral and disengaged with every interaction.
Before you get to this point, it may be worth trying to have a constructive talk with your sibling. You never want to accuse them outright, but make sure they are aware of how you feel. Sometimes, we aren’t aware of what we are doing or how our actions affect others.
What Does Constant Criticism Do to a Person?
With constant criticism, especially from a family member or someone you respect, you can start to feel ostracized, lonely, depressed, anxious, and stressed. As a result, your self-worth starts to go down, and you may completely lose all your self-esteem.
Long-term studies have even shown that people constantly criticized are often found to choose unhealthy relationships, have addictive behaviors, and have problems establishing a career.
For this reason, it is important to set limits before the problem gets too severe. Setting firm and consistent limits can protect you and let your sister know that you are serious about the situation.
How Should You Set Limits?
It is important to try and establish boundaries. Even though they may not listen to them, you have them set up, and you can respond when they don’t follow them. These boundaries need to be firm and have some sort of response when they are broken.
For example, you will no longer drive them in your car if they don’t follow them. Unfortunately, when still living with parents, these boundaries can be hard to establish and even harder to keep firm with a response.
Should You Stop Communicating Because of it?
While this should not be your first option, sometimes there is no other answer. For example, if you have a family member that is constantly criticizing you, sometimes your only option is to completely stop communication and go no contact.
This can be permanently or for a set period, whatever works best for your situation. It can be hard to go no-contact with family members, but it can make a marked difference in your life.
However, it is important to note that this can cause you to receive criticism from other family members, so you may have to be prepared to cut communication with all of them if they are going to stand up for your sister and claim you are being unreasonable.
Final Thoughts on Your Sister Always Criticizes You
Dealing with toxic and critical sisters isn’t easy. But, while having any family members that are critical and toxic can be hard, siblings are who you are supposed to be closest to.
While there are steps, you can try first to fix the relationship. But, unfortunately, sometimes, people refuse to change their ways. When that happens, you may sometimes have no other option but to cut all contact.
This can lead to serious repercussions from other family members, and it may be hard for a while, but over time, you may see your situation growing better, and you will feel better about your life and your situation.